Starting Over

It may not always pay to be kind, but we should always do unto others what we would want other do unto us. After the incident when I experienced a backlash despite my niceness, I’ve knowingly and unknowingly drawn a clear line between work and personal matters with my people who work closest with me. Like how one guy in my office always say “don’t be a hero”, I could feel my conviction to make an impact on the people around me dwindling down.

Of course, God always has a way of bring us back to His purpose for us. Just this week, I received a phone call from a client who was very emotionally affected as he just broke-up last Monday. I invited him down for a quick lunch as I also had another lunch appointment after that (yes, 2 lunches a day will do so much benefit to my figure right?). While queuing up at the buffet line, he told me that he and his partner were together for 4 years. He looked at me for a brief moment and then, avoiding eye contact, said very softly: “Actually, I’m... I’m gay…”

I must say I appreciate his frankness. It must have taken a lot of courage from him to tell someone of his (probably open) secret who’s just a business associate. I actually thought of saying: “Don’t worry. I knew it all along.”

Instead, I said: “Gay or not, you’re a nice person.”

As I thought back, I thank God for those words that came out from me because he must have been quite conscious of his gender preference. Although I may not be able to impart Christian values to him at that point of time, I managed to shift our focus on his gender preference to him as a person. Nonetheless, I pray that one day, he’ll come to know God as his personal Lord and Saviour and follow the precepts of God.

Over lunch, he talked about certain terminologies that gays use and was quite candid about his relationship. Although it was not my practice to discuss sexuality over the dining table, I let him talk, as I knew he was still feeling hurt about his break-up. I told him something what a person once said, which I’ve also come to learn it hard myself. I said he must remember that his life does not revolve around one person only. What if something happens to this person? Then his whole world will crumble if his life is only around one person. Instead, his life also involves many others around him, like his family, his friends and some other people who may also need his care, concern and attention. This is the closest to biblical truth that I can advise him at that point of time.

As we parted, I wondered if the lunch and the talking helped him get better and over with his trauma, but I pray that even if he forgets everything we talked that afternoon, he’ll remember not to focus all his energy incumbent, but to shift his attention other things around him that are equally important. Everyone needs to move forward, even when the moving gets tough. Some people may have moved on one step ahead of us, we will eventually need to move on as well, even when it means starting over again, on 1st gear.

Getting back on the feet is never easy, but I think everyone always anticipate seeing the come-back kid. Isn’t it? Or at least I feel so… :)